Healing from Un-loved

Galatians 5 1 Freedom Inner Healing (1)
Hello my dear brothers and sisters,

Lynn Donovan, with you today. I’m feeling extra empathy and compassion for all of us who have walked the road of the unequally yoked or any long-term difficult relationship.

In a prayer session this week, I was praying with a friend, and uncovered an area of unhealed pain that needed the love of Jesus….. and needed my love.

You see, Jesus took me back to when I was newly married, within the first three years, to the moment reality came crashing in that my husband and I were at odds about this major part of my person, Jesus. I remember that moment clearly. I experienced devastation when that understanding hit me. And frankly, the reality that my husband didn’t care, or seem to care, that I was in pain, the devastation increased. Ugh!

It’s difficult to be transparent about this, as it’s a deeply personal moment. However, I’ve always chosen to be real with you because we learn together how to overcome pain?

Now here is the best part.

In my prayer time this week, I discovered that this was the moment where I became disappointed with myself. I realized that my fairytale wasn’t going to unfold as expected. This moment was the beginning of a lie that devil began to tell me that I was a disappointment to myself.

This is the moment when I began to unlove myself.

Ugh! I didn’t even know this pain and reality was inside. It was absolutely revelation from Jesus. Jesus then arrived to love on this young girl. And through this experience, He loved on me. I forgave myself for this disappointment. For the rebellion against God and not following His written Word. I forgave myself and acknowledged the difficulties this young woman faced and the deceit she lived in at the time.

I blessed her. And Jesus blessed me.

My love of self, found healing. And this morning when I woke, I’ve been surrounded by a simple peace. I feel whole unto myself. And I realized how much I truly love my husband, Mike.

My brother or sister, sit down with Jesus. (NO DISTRACTIONS). Ask Him if there was a place where disappointment and unlove entered in. Ask Him to reveal any roots to this pain and forgive yourself. Forgive others if needed. Love yourself. Bless yourself.

We are so hard on ourselves over our past mistakes. One of the great things I did in this prayer session was to forgive my young self for the choices she made. As my entire life has felt the consequences of her decisions. (And I realize it’s myself I’m speaking of, but that girl….. and the woman I am today, are very different people. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ.)

This process is inner healing. It is beautiful. It is necessary and it is FREEDOM.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

If you need inner healing, make a Healing Prayer Appointment with me. I am tender and full of compassion. Jesus will meet you where you are, and He will set you free also.

With great love and compassion, I greet you this day. Love, Lynn Donovan

Healing Prayer with Lynn Donovan

A Brother Like Jesus

Volleyball spikeCredit: Getty Images

Jeanne here!  In my prayer time this morning Jesus was telling me (and all of us), “Rise up, rise up and rule! Take the seat that has been purchased and prepared for you.” The things he was saying were quite remarkable, and I will talk about them in another post.

But as I was writing down his words, he gave me a picture, a memory of something that illustrates who he is and what he needs us to do.  It’s not what you think!

A little context might help you understand.  I am the second-youngest of 12 siblings, spread in age over more than 20 years.  Throughout my childhood I had siblings who were adults and teenagers.  On Sundays in the summer, a handful of my siblings’ friends would join us and we would play volleyball on the front lawn.  We had a volleyball net that would be set up for the games, and we used a garden hose to mark the boundaries of the “court.”

I don’t know how anyone else decided which team to play on, but I’d always want to be on my oldest brother’s team, because we would be sure to win.  He wasn’t a flashy player or a ball hog; he certainly didn’t win every point.  But somehow he always managed to be in the right place at the right time.  If the ball was on our side and about to drop to the ground, my brother would sacrifice his body for the ball (as the saying goes) and dive across the court to put his fist between the ball and the earth, giving us another chance to get it over the net.

I have vivid memories of myself as a little kid, small and uncoordinated, but wanting to play and wanting to win.  There were bigger people all around me, but my brother seemed always to be nearby.  If the ball came to me, he’d let me hit it, and then he would swoop in and take whatever feeble effort I managed and turn it into a real hit.  He clearly wanted to win, but he never scolded or excluded those of us who weren’t athletic.

What Jesus showed me this morning is that he is just like my volleyball-playing brother.  He is always nearby.  He doesn’t take over and do it all for us, but he takes whatever we are able to do and turns it into victory.  Our most important play is to choose to be on his side in every game we play. 

At that time the disciples came up and asked Jesus, Who then is [really] the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And He called a little child to Himself and put him in the midst of them, and said, Truly I say to you, unless you repent (change, turn about) and become like little children [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving], you can never enter the kingdom of heaven [at all].  Whoever will humble himself therefore and become like this little child [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving] is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.     (Matthew 18:1-4, Amplified)

This is so counter to our culture, where we each want to be independent and in charge. But we can’t win the game, or the battle against the enemy, in our own strength.  Jesus wants us to be trusting, lowly, loving, and forgiving, and he will make us great in his kingdom!

An Unexpected Experiment

Hi Warriors in Christ.

Today, I want to share an unusual experience and an unplanned experiment. What happened to me proves what we allow in our ear gates matters to great degrees in the spiritual.

If you have known me for awhile, you know I LOVE to backyard garden. Since moving to northern California, I’ve learned that gardening has differing but small nuances from my Temecula backyard.

This spring has extended, damp and cool following the wettest winter in local memory. However, I was determined to expand my garden and plant early this year. Last year, the garden went in late because I was still unpacking boxes from our move in.

I asked my local handyman, (I love that guy. He is the bomb), to build me two additional garden boxes. One box was a conversion from an old queen box spring. (waste not, want not!) He pounded that one together and built another. He even went to home depot and hauled a truck load of grow mulch bags into my backyard.

So, now I have four boxes that the birds love to pick apart. I quickly learned to cover them with bird nets. After they ate the leaves down to the stem of the jalapeno plants. Sheesh! That’s been part of the learning curve. Tons of birds around here are plenty hungry. Grrrrrrr

On a sunny morning I went out to work. The bags of grow mulch needed treated with my crab and lobster shell mix, Epson salts, and some organic fertilizer. I put on the yard gloves and set up the portable backyard speaker I took from Mike’s office.

I was looked for some upbeat music that I could sing along and move me along as I work. And from my distant past, the band, Heart, came to mind. So I put on the Spotify playlist and worked for hours, listening to Ann Wilson belt her lungs out. I finished about half the work and left the rest for another day.

Again,  a few days later I went out to spend four more hours to finish up all the work. I was laying down stepping stones, funny signs, a windmill and fencing.

This time I set up Mike’s speaker to play a favorite worship playlist as I worked.

Now this is the interesting and unexpected experiment that occurred. Following the first work day when I came into the house to clean up and move on with other stuff, I noticed that after listening to the secular music, I felt in my spirit a melancholy feeling. Like a sadness, a longing for …… well for something I wasn’t really sure. However, I felt down and somewhat gloomy.

I didn’t really notate this odd feeling until the next time I came in after listening to worship for four hours. Following my second garden workday, I came in to clean up and I felt powerful, I was filled with hope, I felt the presence of God so strongly. As I walked into the bathroom, I passed through a shaft of light that was coming through the window. I turned around to pick up something, and there in the beams of light were dust particles but something else.

It appeared there was glittering gold shimmering, hovering in my wake. I marveled as I watched the glittering gold with fascination. And I whispered, “I love you, Father.”

That’s the precise moment when this lesson crystallized. I realized in that moment that listening to music that wasn’t centered in worship to God left my spirit in a sad and weakened state. But the sustained worship, strengthened, uplifted and drew the very presence of God.

Ok, sorry, Heart. Ladies, you can sing but next time I’m hours in the yard, it will be worship for me.

Have you had an experience like this? I would love to hear your story.

Be blessed on this day my friends. Lynn

Funny farm

Box 1
carrots, sunflowers, zucchini, jalapinos
Tomatoes for Salsa
Potatoes, the starts, I brought from Temecula
Cor radish lettuce
Corn, radishes, lettuce