Recusing Back Our Kingdom Identity From People Pleaser
08/20/2020
In my last post, I referenced a quote from Lynn’s book, Marching Around Jericho, in which she listed several key components that were needed in order to solidify our identity in Christ. One of those components was to reject lies regarding our identity and embracing Sonship. You can read that post here.
Today, I want to expand on a lie that held me captive for many years as I made my journey through life not knowing who I was and whose I was. That lie was:
“I must please others and win their approval
in order to feel good about my self-worth.”
Two things I came to recognize as having the most influencing factors that contributed to this lie were my relationship with parents and my temperament.
I never doubted for a moment how much my parents loved me as a child. They showered me with hugs, provided my every need, and disciplined me with love and kindness. Through them I saw just how much Jesus loved me. So, what could be the problem with this type of relationship?
Out of their deep love for me, my parents kept me under their wing in a very protective environment. In short, they sort of smothered me, and did not leave me much room to make decisions on my own, carefully “guiding and advising” every step I took into young adulthood. Guidance and advice from parents is a good thing, but in some cases, parents are unable to find a balance between advising and giving freedom to their child to begin forming his own thoughts and beliefs, as in my case. As a result I lost confidence in myself, and became a cripple at making decisions on my own. I lost sight of how I felt, what I desired, and did not pursue my own thoughts and beliefs. I say this in no disrespect to my parents at all; I had very good parents. They did what they thought was best for me.
Added to this scenario was my temperament. Most educators of human behavior classify temperaments into 4 categories, each one having its own strengths and weaknesses. Psalm 139 says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made that sets us apart as an individual. Why do we have weaknesses if we were fearfully and wonderfully made? Because of dear old Adam and Eve, sin entered the world and tried to destroy God’s unique personality in each of us by swaying us to walk through life working out of our weak points, and not our strengths.
Through tests, I discovered that I was predominately Phlegmatic. Some of the weaknesses of this temperament are: easy-going, laid back, avoids conflicts, don’t rock the boat kind of person, has difficulty making decisions, and are ruled basically with the emotion of guilt.
Those two factors, I believe, set me up for having a low self-worth. I came to realize that the enemy’s primary area of attack is our self-worth. He does not want us to discover who we are, and whose we are, and his lies hold us in limbo in using the gifts God has placed within us. Instead, we become puppets on a string trying to please those we have relationships with and allowing their opinions of us to take precedence over God’s opinion and purpose for us.
To overcome this lie, we must understand our Reconciliation to God, and how He sees us. A very brief meaning of this concept is:
- Webster dictionary defines reconcile as to restore back into friendship.
- Mankind’s friendship with God was broken when Adam and Eve sinned.
- But, God himself initiated restoring our relationship back to Him through the death of his son, Jesus.
- We are now acceptable to God because Christ abolished the barrier and made peace with God through His blood on the cross. We have the righteousness of Christ, and cannot be any more acceptable to God than we are now. (Rom. 5:8-10; Eph. 2:14-18); Col. 1:21-22)
- When God looks at us now, He loves us and His Son, Jesus Christ, equally! (John 17:19-26)
- Jesus calls us “My brother/sister” and addresses God the Father as “Our Father.” (John 20:17)
Let that sink in – God full accepts us, and loves us and His son, Jesus Christ equally! As a former pastor of mine used to say, “That's enough to make an Egyptian Mummy shout!”
Probably for the first time in my life, a healing from the lie, “I must please others and win their approval in order to feel good about my self-worth” began to take root, and I took on a new Identity----Kingdom Identity and all the authority it carries with it.
There are two scriptures that I keep close by me as a reminder of my years of being in captivity, but how God broke the chains and gave me freedom.
- For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ. (Gal. 1:10 KJV)
- We ought to obey God rather than men. (Acts 5:29 KJV)
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Perhaps you have bought into this lie also. Why not share it in the comments, and let’s talk about it. It is time for us to do Kingdom Work!